HELLO WORLD

"I tell you, the more I think, the more I feel that there is nothing more truly artistic than to love people." Vincent van Gogh.

Lately I have been reconnecting with people. It started with Facebook - and Classmates.com. Then it was texting - and this morning I was even instant messaging. I've been reluctant to dive into the constant communication age - but now that I have, I see what I have been missing.

I have made contact with friends from high school (yes, I know - the DARK AGES), communicated with a lost relative or two, and have just been more accessible to everyone. It's a good thing. I think I had become a little too insular. I forgot how much we all need a "community" - a "tribe". I forgot how interconnected we are with one another. How much we are all the same. And how much we can learn from each other.

Every day holds a new lesson - if our hearts are open to learn.

MY LIFE IS MANY, MANY OPEN BOOKS!

When the Kindle first came out - I was vehemently opposed to it! I love book stores and books, and even wrote a blog entry, I think, about being surrounded with stacks of books and loving it. I love the feel of the page, and the smell of a new book. And - I read a lot. A whole lot.

Since the end of February, I have finished reading six novels. I just kept stacking them by my bed - and they toppled over in the middle of the night and scared the Bejesus out of me. Every bookshelf is filled to overflowing. I have books stacked on the shelves three-deep - piles of books, stacks of books, layers of books...there is simply no more room.

So, I broke down and ordered the Kindle Two.

I feel like a traitor to the literary world. It's like all the zillions of books in my house are glaring at me - and the damn thing hasn't even arrived yet!

I suppose the simple moral to this tale is the proverbial "never say never".

I will let you know how this jump into the modern electronic age goes. Should be interesting, anyway.

TRASH BAGS AND HUMILIATION

Last week the Almighty Oprah did a show about reducing clutter. Actually, I think she is doing a series of shows on this subject, but, I digress. In this episode, she was responding to a couple who wanted help de-cluttering their vehicle. They had two children who were active in several sports - so all their gear was in the car and there was no room for the kids. However, they underestimated the commitment of this wise talk show host. She had their car transported to the studio - just as it was - without them knowing about it. When the curtain opened on that filthy car, those two people looked like they wanted to simply die. For good reason. I have never seen such a mess! It was literally piled to the ceiling with crap, leaving just enough space for one little child in the back seat, one in the front seat and the driver. Oprah smiled triumphantly and handed them trash bags - and told them to clean it up by the end of the show. I have to admit, the combination of trash bags and worldwide public humiliation was probably effective.

It sure worked on me!

I had put off cleaning my van for over a year. In my defense, I didn't have a lot of trash - just some receipts, pennies (which I believe secretly multiply when we are not looking), umbrellas (okay, a LOT of umbrellas), flashlights (I don't know why), and two packages of fossilized cheese crackers. It took about thirty minutes to empty everything. Then, it was off to Car Pool.

Let me say, that somewhere in my twisted southern upbringing, I was raised to believe that men handle anything to do with cars. But, somehow my husband never received that memo - or, if he did, he is choosing to ignore it. So, over the last few years I have been forced to compromise my Scarlett O'Hara values, and do the necessary maintenance things, like oil changes and state inspections, etc. But I still don't like it. The car wash was next on the list of automotive things to conquer. Surprisingly, I discovered that it really wasn't a bad place to be, except for the loud speaker announcing when the cars were finished. I didn't even have to wait in a long line - and when it was over, my van sparkled. I could almost hear it give an audible sigh of relief. And, I did feel better driving in a clean van.

So, I continue to marvel at the power of Oprah to change lives. I slept well last night knowing that if she comes to check on my van - I'm ready for her. But, I get a little queasy just thinking about what will happen if she turns her de-clutter spotlight on my closet. Then, I will be a goner!

WHEN YOUR NUMBER IS UP!

The sudden and unexpected death of Natasha Richardson has everyone thinking about the fragility of life. During my recent bout with cancer, I certainly pondered this topic - and I kept wondering if I had done all that I was supposed to do. Who decides what we are supposed to do anyway? And - if we put aside all the "suppose tos" and the "shoulds" and the "ought tos" would we finally be free to live in the moment and find that true path that our hearts are always whispering to us about? (When we are quiet enough to listen!)

William Hurt said, "But I am not going to live forever. And the more I know it, the more amazed I am by being here at all." Knowing our mortality can enhance our awe for being alive. But I am beginning to think that the only way to settle into that groove of life where we follow the call of something - SOMEONE - greater than who we are is to renounce the expectations imposed on us by others. Irving Wallace said, "To be one's self and unafraid whether right or wrong, is more admirable than the easy cowardice of surrender to conformity."

My generation was raised to weigh our actions against the plumb line of "What will people think?" It is a hard habit to break. It affects everything we do - it affects the energy we put out in this world. For example, in writing, I find that I am constantly worrying about what friends, family, even unknown people, will think about ME. Not so much about what I write - but what my writing says about ME. Then, I am super-aware of every word - every letter. Hard to be creative that way.

But what if I broke free from that self-imposed prison? What if I just lived moment by moment trying to be true to my spirit? I think it will take a lot of practice. And, I won't always get it right - but I want to try. If I shock, disappoint, challenge, or perhaps, inspire someone else - then that is living.

Kenny Ausubel said, "Each of us has a spark of life inside us and our highest endeavor ought to be to set off that spark in one another."

If that is our intention moment by moment, day by day - then whenever this life ends - we will have started something that lasts.

LOOK WHO'S BACK!

Well, I'm back. Sort of. I have found that I can procrastinate forever. Not that I didn't have excuses. I had this little detour called "Cancer". I must admit that it took the proverbial wind out of my sails. I really thought I was prepared for anything - but when the doctor finally said that horrible word, it came as a shock and all the emotions and fears spilled over. But, I weathered the storm and am fine. Just have to keep those dreaded doctor appointments every 3 months. Like looking over my shoulder all the time.

I'm trying not to do that, though. I'm trying to just look ahead and find the best in every day. Difficult during these tough times, however. I am thrilled with Obama as President. We certainly endured what seemed to be an eternal dark night of the soul with Bush. As crazy as our economic crisis is, I think Obama is the one to help lead us out of it. Now - if people will just give him the time to do it. We always want instant answers - instant fixes to everything. This will just take time, patience, and a willingness to put aside our political differences for the common good. (That last part is directed at the current Party of "NO")

I finally took the plunge and signed up for Facebook. Actually, the reason I did it was so that I could see pictures that were posted on my son's page. I have "bumped" into two people I went to high school with. Back in the dark ages. It is kind of fun - and nostalgic. Days and years pass, and before we know it, so many have piled up and we are a long way from where we started. Recalling these two people - remembering who we were then and sharing who we are now - is really wonderful. A gift.

So, even though I am the most computer challenged adult alive...I'm on Facebook! Now I find out there is something called Twitter.....hmmmmmm....maybe next year!!!