OPEN WIDE

Yesterday, I went to a new dentist. I hadn't been in several years, mainly because every time I go, it is a big deal. This new office was bright and open. There was a glorious fish tank in the waiting room and soft music playing. I was almost relaxed when the sound of the dentist's drill pierced the air, and I was jolted back to reality. Some things never change about going to the dentist. I felt the hairs on my arm stand up, and images of the torture scenes in the movie, Marathon Man, began to flood my mind. Before I could break into a full blown panic and vacate the premises, the dental assistant called my name, and I obediently followed her into the bowels of hell.

The examining room was lovely - a wall of windows overlooking several bird feeders and bright flowers. I took a few deep breaths and willed myself to relax, enjoying the blue jays, and cardinals, and even a few hummingbirds. It was quite tranquil, until the cat came slinking along the bushes. I sat up in the chair and attempted to mentally warn the two doves meandering under one of the feeders. Thankfully, just as the cat was about to pounce, one of the blue jays swooped down and alerted the doves. All the birds escaped with their feathers intact, and the cat was forced to move on to better hunting grounds. I relaxed again, and just as my heart rate was back to normal, the dentist came in.

He took one look at my teeth - glanced at my x-rays and muttered the two words I hoped to never hear again. Root Canal.

So, I spent two hours in the dental chair - while the dentist drilled and dug and filed and scraped. Went directly from the dentist to Walgreens and filled three prescriptions and have spent most of today in a druggie haze.

I hate to go to the dentist. I hate it. But, I have to go back next week for the crown - and then set up another appointment for the regular teeth cleaning. sigh.

During times like this, I think Florence Henderson must know what she is singing about in those goofy Poligrip ads.

Oh well...it's time for another pill.

WEEKEND MUSINGS

This has been a quite a week for me. My only son and his wife left Friday for Gresham, Oregon - all the way across the country. I thought I was ready for all of this. I mean, I had a few months to process his decision, and I believed that it would not be too hard for me. Certainly not as hard as the day I left him at college. Foolish me.

It isn't that I think this is a bad move for him. Quite the contrary, I think it is a wonderful opportunity. I love the west coast, and am excited for him. I've never been a mother who held too tightly - still, I am a mother, and my heart is always filled with him, so saying goodbye was extremely painful. As I was driving home after our tearful parting, I suddenly thought about all the mothers who say goodbye to sons and daughters as they go to Iraq. How much more difficult that must be, than what I have experienced! I can't - I don't want to - imagine embracing your child and knowing that he may not come back. And - to spend every moment while they are gone, wondering if they are safe. Just contemplating this seemed to help me bring my son's move into a better perspective. And, it made me more mindful of the terrible cost of this insane war.

So, even though my heart is hurting, I am so grateful that my son is on his way to a new life, full of promise and dreams - and not being sent into harm's way. I have so much to be grateful for - perhaps I realize that now, more than ever.

Have a great weekend - and be sure to hold your loved ones tightly in your heart. And, perhaps, like me, you will find yourself thinking of all the sons and daughters serving in the military. In many ways, they are our childen, too.

WHERE HAVE ALL THE WRITERS GONE?

"One in four adults read no books at all in the past year," according to an Associated Press-Ipsos poll released Tuesday. "Of those who did read, women and older people were the most avid." The survey reveals a nation whose book readers, on the whole, can hardly be called ravenous. It seems that people would rather do just about anything other than read. This is reflected by book sales, which have been flat in recent years and are expected to stay that way indefinitely. The article about this poll said that analysts attribute the listlessness to competition from the Internet and other media, the unsteady economy and a well-established industry with limited opportunities for expansion.

In 2004, A National Endowment for the Arts report titled, "Reading at Risk" found only 57 percent of American adults had read a book in 2002, a four percentage point drop in a decade. The study faulted television, movies and the Internet.

All of this is quite disheartening to me. I am a voracious reader - and a struggling writer, so it effects me in two ways. The publishing industry seems to back only a handful of successful writers these days. Authors like James Patterson and Danielle Steele receive the lion's share of marketing in the business, and the mega-bookstores, which have squeezed out the smaller, more intimate book shops of the past, cater to mass sales, instead of stocking works by new writers published by smaller presses. Once again, business trumps art, making it nearly impossible for an unknown, no matter how gifted, to get anywhere.

We are a nation of instant gratification...a people who have left behind a rich history of creative story-telling in favor of Cliff Notes. Why take the time to read a book - when the movie will be out in a few months? Reading requires a stillness of soul - a time set apart from the whirlwind of living to become absorbed in worlds created by words only, where our imaginations provide the visuals, without Dolby Sound and computer generated special effects.

In the quest for publication and agent representation, the author is now instructed to grab a reader in the first sentence. Actually, agents say that if an author has not hooked them with something unique in the first couple of sentences, they do not bother to read any further. This would mean that great works of literature, like Gone with the Wind, Red Badge of Courage, anything by Jane Austen or even Hemingway, would probably never get to first base in today's world of publishing.

We are becoming people of the digital age. Using cash is frowned upon...CD's are being replaced by music downloads...and there are rumblings of the same thing happening with books. Books can be downloaded and read online. Is this a good thing? Not in my opinion.

I love the feel of the book in my hand - the smell of the pages and the tightness of a new book when I first open it. I also loved the well-worn book - the books purchased second-hand, passed from one reader to the next. I like wondering who read it before me - what did they think of it? Did they talk about the book with their friends, or their family? Did the characters in the book appear in their dreams or pop up in their thoughts during the day?

Sadly, we book lovers may soon be a minority. Not sure how to change this trend - but thought it was worth discussing.

When was the last time you read a book?

I CAN SEE CLEARLY NOW

I've worn glasses since I was in the fourth grade. My first pair were a glittery blue frame with pointy corners. Truly unattractive, I will admit. Just think of a fourth grader doing a "Dame Edna" impression. We had only one optometrist in my town, so the frame selection was limited, still, I think he should have offered me some other suggestions. After all, I was only nine, and had no clue that I would actually have to wear the ugly things every day for over a year. Oh well, I survived.

I went to Costco recently to purchase new frames. Usually, I go to Lens Crafters - but I was astounded at how much cheaper the glasses are at Costco. At my age, you have to factor in the extra cost of no-line bifocals, so cost is important. The last pair I purchased at Lens Crafters was nearly $500. I nearly died of a heart attack. They get you by selling some designer frame that is no different in quality then a no-name brand. Lens Crafters has Gucci's and Yves St. Laurent's (not sure I spelled that one right) while Costco has Sophia Loren and Linda Evans frames. Honestly, I thought Linda Evans was more famous for her shoulder pads than her glasses, but I selected a light pink pair that was tasteful, so, whatever. Actually, now that I think about it, I don't remember ever seeing Linda Evans in eyeglasses. Certainly not on Dynasty.

The bottom line is, that I got the glasses for $200, and they are great. Actually, I like them better than the $500 pair. I did have to wait two weeks to get them, while Lens Crafters takes only an hour, but a $300 savings is worth a little patience.

I read somewhere that 70% of the population in the U.S. wears eyeglasses or contacts. Wonder why we have such poor eyesight? Back in the 1300's, eyeglasses were a luxury used by the rich as a symbol of their wealth and power. But once Gutenberg invented the printing press in 1456, the history of eyeglasses changed forever. People actually began to READ, and so they NEEDED glasses.

Maybe the rich people wore the "Gucci" frames of the day, while the common folk wore the Sophia Loren/Linda Evans selections. I guess that old adage is true: As much as things change, they simply stay the same.

I have wrestled with the choice of whether or not to have prescription sunglasses. My sister has these, and she is always changing glasses. Since I don't carry a purse, but use a backpack on my wheelchair, this would just be one more inconvenience - so I have started using those "old lady sunglasses for the blind" that fit over my regular glasses. I keep them in the car, and have insisted that anyone who rides with me takes an oath to not allow me out of the vehicle with them on. I look like a blind bug.

After all, blind AND in a wheelchair is not a good look! See, I've developed a slight sense of style since my fourth grade stint as Dame Edna. There is hope for me yet!

GRAB BAG OF THOUGHTS

It is hard to believe that summer is nearly over. The usual sweltering heat we experience in August seems to be more oppressive to me this year. Perhaps it is because it is accompanied by my hot flashes. Oh, the joys of being a woman!

I have blamed the heat on my inability to concentrate on much of anything these days. Oh, thoughts have been ping-ponging around in my brain - bumping against each other, but producing nothing of any significance. I have the best intentions of writing - of working on finishing my third novel - but it seems like my time just evaporates.

Somethings grab my attention - like this Michael Vick fiasco. I think the thing that bothers me most about all of this is our legal system. It's nothing like we see on Law and Order - you know those episodes where the prosecutor's office shreds the cases presented by the expensive legal defense lawyers. In the real world, money seems to talk a lot louder than justice. It isn't about being guilty or innocent - it is about manipulating the system to get by with as much as possible. And, celebrity status seems to grant a person an unfair advantage. What makes Michael Vick a valuable, contributing human being? He takes a football and throws it to another guy who tries to run a few yards before being tackled. This skill, evidently, is so profound, that it can be used to barter a minimal sentence for completely barbaric behavior. (To say nothing of the ridiculous salary he has been paid to play football.)

Then there is the renewed contract to publish OJ's book. Who is going to buy it? I know the Goldman's are obsessed with finding a way to make Simpson pay for "getting away with murder" but it just isn't going to happen. The only people who aren't "over" OJ are the families of his victims. Of course, OJ is more than happy to perform anytime someone shines the spotlight on him, and his ability to still attract any measure of press attention is nothing short of amazing. So, while I can empathize with the Goldman family, I just think this case was another great example of money manipulating justice.

The situation with the miners is worrisome. I feel so sorry for the families of the men who were lost - and sorry for the rescuers who gave their lives to find them. But, I think enough is enough now. It has been too long - and too dangerous to continue. Just a sad thing.

Oh - and now I think twice when I drive over a bridge. Good Grief! That was a scary thing that happened in Minnesota. The old and worn, two lane Huguenot Bridge here in Richmond looks like a great candidate for another disaster to me - so I will try and avoid it.

So, see what I mean? Ping-ponging thoughts. But, I decided to check-in here, so that you all would know I am still living! Just in the Summer slump and looking forward to the cool crisp days of Fall!

GO AWAY, KITTY, KITTY!

As you know from previous blogs, I am an animal lover. I can't imagine living in a house without cute furry things. However, I have some mixed thoughts about the news story of Oscar, the cat, who lives at the Steere House Nursing and Rehabilitation Center in Providence, RI. I am sure you've heard of this story, but if not - here is a brief recap.

Oscar has been described as a non-social cat. He wants to be left alone, and actually hisses at patients who pass him in the halls. BUT - when he jumps onto a patient's bed and purrs -within hours, that patient dies. This has happened 24 times! He has been written about in the New England Journal of Medicine - and, of course, they are trying to make this event seem scientific - suggesting that Oscar can "smell death". Dr. David Dosa said, "His mere presence at the bedside is an almost absolute indicator of impending death."

Talk about the proverbial "kiss of death"! If I was a patient there I would insist they keep that cat the hell away from me!

I do believe that animals offer comfort - and have a somewhat spiritual connection to their owners - but this is just too weird for words.

The picture above is NOT of Oscar. It is a photo of my cat, Miss Sophie - whom I am keeping a watchful eye on now that I have heard all about Oscar. She looks a bit menacing, don't you think???? I can almost hear her say, "Look into my eyes...deep into my eyes. You are getting sleepy...sleepy. Your breath is becoming shallow."

Okay - maybe it is just my imagination. But I will remain vigilant, just in case.

BACK TO REALITY

Okay - I have emerged from "Harry Potter World" and back to reality. Damn.

Let's see...we are going to sell weapons to the Sunni's to fight the Shiites. That should go a long way to stop the uproar in the Middle East. Hmmmm....what idiot thought that was a good idea?! Oh, I know!

There is a new Al-Quaeda video telling us to watch for a big surprise - with digitally enhanced photos of the White House on fire. Okay - that's scary.

There is some crazy woman who has four dead premature babies on her property. O.J. Simpson has been in the news again- Lindsay Lohan got an "F" in rehab and Nicole Richie is going to jail.

And then, the bridge collapsed in Minnesota.

I have always been a little nervous when driving over a bridge - now I will probably be petrified! Especially after hearing that there are up to 70,000 bridges in the United States that have been found to have structural problems. Arrrgghh!

Hogwarts seems like a nicer place. Oh sure - there was Voldemorte and Death Eaters to contend with - but there were also magic wands! The real world is more difficult - and we don't have invisibility cloaks, or spells against the dark arts to protect us.

But - we do have the color-coded terror alert system.

Where is Dumbledore when you need him?