I'M NOT OPRAH - BUT THAT'S OKAY

Last night I watched the Oprah special about her Leadership Academy for Girls. It was amazing and inspiring. I've heard a lot of criticism about Oprah. I know you've heard it, too. And, on occasions, I've been guilty of a snide comment, or two. Honestly, I'm not sure why she draws criticism. She certainly has worked hard for all of her millions, and she seems to take her success seriously - making earnest attempts to "give back".

I know that sometimes she seems "out of touch" with the audience. Especially that segment in her magazine of her "must have items" that are often outrageously priced. That is hard to identify with, I'll admit. I would never consider purchasing a sweater for $800, but then again, I don't have $800 to spare! Still, I can't hold the fact that she is extremely wealthy against her. She earned it.

Maybe that is what makes her an easy target. She reminds us that our choices produce our situations. When you read - or hear- about her humble beginnings...about all the crap jobs she had in the beginning...about all the truly hard work she put into her career...even about her current schedule - then you have to just stand back and say, "Wow, she deserves everything she has."

It is easy to criticize - to project something negative on someone else so that we don't have to take responsibility for our own life - for whatever place we find ourselves currently in. Being negative is always easier. That doesn't say much for human nature, does it? I'm glad that we have examples, like Oprah - to remind us that we can be more, we can give more, we can pull ourselves out of our narrow world, and see the big picture.

She spent five years developing this school in Africa. Five years. Can I say that I have honestly sent five years diligently pursuing a dream? And, even though she could have just given the money - she insisted on participating personally in every detail - right down to the dishes that would be in the dining hall. She worked at it - while working on her show, and while running her production company. That's a lot of energy and travel.

And - in the process - she is changing lives, and perhaps the future of Africa - one girl at a time. That would be enough for a lifetime - except that is just ONE thing that she does. She impresses me - and reminds me of the possibilities that reside in each of us.

Maybe we are not meant to open schools in another country, or rebuild neighborhoods in New Orleans, or all the other things Oprah does. But - we are meant to do something positive - to be the best we can be - and to look beyond ourselves and give something affirmative to our world.
We are meant to be contributors - not negative whiners who suck the air out of life.

I don't think Oprah wants to be worshipped - but, even if she does - it still would not tarnish all the good she has put out into the universe. She is still an example of what one person can do with their life if they are willing to make the choices and put in the hard work.

So, I'm clapping for Oprah - and I'm taking a closer look at myself...at all the things that I dismiss because I think they are too hard and not worth the effort.

Oprah can't answer for anyone but herself - and so far, in my book, she should be pleased!

IF THIS IS THE CIRCUS, WHO IS THE RINGMASTER?

I have resisted commenting on all this Anna Nicole Smith mess - but enough is enough! Perhaps it would be tolerable if this "story" was presented only once a day, but moment-by-moment coverage on all the major news channels is ridiculous! Our only reprieve comes in the form of an update or two on Britney Spears. Sigh.

Meanwhile - Iran is continuing its pursuit of nuclear weapons, U.S. helicopters are being shot out of the sky in Iraq, the politicians and elected officials are duking it out in Washington, the mud-slinging for the 2008 Presidential race has already begun, and the weather across the country is simply bizarre.

I've asked myself if it would do any good for the media to be offering balanced coverage of these other stories - and I'm not sure what the answer is. I don't think anything would be resolved - but somehow I believe that it is vital to focus on important things instead of pitching a tent and camping out at the Anna Nicole Smith freak show.

It makes me sad to realize there is a salivating audience for this kind of over-exposure. There must be, or we wouldn't be experiencing it. Perhaps it is easier to focus on the dysfunction in other people's lives instead of looking at the issues that are so vital to our own. The decision to bury ANS in the Bahamas or Texas or California has absolutely no effect on me, but if Iran decides to launch a nuclear weapon my way, or if our country ends up in another war, then that's another story!

And, I wonder how America's obsession with ANS and Britney plays out in the arena of the world's opinion of our country - particularly the negative opinions already held by those who have been declared our enemies. They must be having a field day at our expense.

So - I say, leave Britney alone, put ANS in the grave before she rots - and if you are still hungry for trivial entertainment, don't forget the red carpet coverage for the Oscars begins tomorrow evening at 6:00 on the "E" channel.

Okay - I'll confess - I'll be watching. Nobody's perfect, you know!

OPEN MY EYES THAT I MAY SEE

Yesterday, while driving to see my sister, I was treated to the sight of a splendid red-tail hawk soaring against the vivid blue of the sky. Sometimes the beauty of nature blows my mind - and that moment, yesterday, did just that. It made me pay attention. I took more notice of the puffy clouds - of the bare trees that line the James River - and of the geese and their perfect V-formation.

The wonder of God is so clearly displayed before us - and yet, we don't always have the eyes to see. We get sidetracked with the details of our lives - we lose God in all the rules and regulations and in the constant struggle to "be good enough". How sad.

Yesterday reminded me of this poem by Mary Oliver. She is one of my favorite poets - just reading her work is a reverential act that pulls me out of the ordinary and opens my eyes to the everyday extraordinary.

"WILD GEESE"

"You do not have to be good.

You do not have to walk on your knees for a hundred miles through the desert repenting.

You only have to let the soft animal of your body

love what it loves.

Tell me about despair, yours, and I will tell you mine.

Meanwhile, the world goes on.

Meanwhile the sun and the clear pebbles of the rain are moving across the landscapes,
over the prairies and the deep trees,
the mountains and the rivers.
Meanwhile the wild geese, high in the clean blue air,
are heading home again.
Whoever you are, no matter how lonely,
the world offers itself to your imagination,
calls to you like the wild geese, harsh and exciting -
over and over announcing your place
in the family of things."

TRY, TRY AGAIN

I have already admitted in an earlier post that I am sometimes the Queen of Procrastination - and I admitted to filling my brain with things that motivate. So - I have another tidbit of wisdom that I've found that I wanted to share with you.

"Do you ever find yourself waiting for the perfect moment to make a dreaded telephone call or to tackle a problem assignment? Waiting for the perfect moment means waiting forever. Hesitation delays success, not pain, and freezes fear in place. Be dauntless. Take the action. You'll achieve more, be happier, and spend less time worried and afraid." Stephen M. Pollan and Mark Levine in "It's All in Your Head."

How many times have I worried about something that didn't happen? How about you? Or - talked myself out of doing something because I am sure it will fail. Sigh. Too many times to count.

But, I have discovered that if I just DO IT - like the Nike ad - then whatever I have been dreading is NEVER as terrible as I thought it would be - and there is this terrific sense of relief and accomplishment that follows. Even if it is something as mundane as paying the bills - or cleaning my office.

My most recent example is this: In October of last year I heard about a local writer's contest sponsored by James River Writers and Richmond Magazine. The contest was for the "best unpublished manuscript" and the deadline was in December. I gave myself a zillion reasons why I wouldn't have a chance - and almost didn't enter. I think I got my entry in at the last moment. Anyway - last week I received notice that I was one of the three finalists. Now - I didn't win a thing (there was only one prize) - BUT - the experience and outcome certainly exceeded my expectations! I would never have enjoyed this little "shot of confidence" if I had not entered.

It made me think about all the things that come into my mind - especially in regards to promoting my writing - that I too quickly dismiss. How many opportunities have I let slide because I was afraid of failing?

"To be happy, you need to accept your fears and the limitations of being human and get on with it. Sometimes you'll win, sometimes you'll lose, but at least you'll be in the game of life rather than hesitating on the sidelines like a spectator." (more from the previously quoted source.)

So, I am going to dust off that manuscript and send it out into the big, bad world of agents and publishers. Who knows what can happen?

IS IT WET IN HERE, OR IS IT JUST ME?

Okay....another addition to the "I Can't Make This Stuff Up" facets of my life.

This morning, I was stretching in bed and my foot found a wet spot. Hmmm...this is a guaranteed way to wake up in a hurry. In my still sleepy haze, I quickly checked to be sure that I was not wet - that would have indicated a true medical emergency as far as I am concerned. Thankfully, the wet spot was confined to the very end of my bed - which made it physically impossible for ME to have created it - and, since I keep my pets out of my room, they were also off the hook.

I was aware there was a dripping sound every now and then, but I could not find it at first. You know how it is - you hear a sound, and when you REALLY listen for it, it stops. That must be a written addendum to Murphy's law somewhere.

Choosing to do the intelligent thing - I went to the kitchen and made coffee. After two cups, I re-entered the bedroom with a new determination to discover WHERE the water was coming from.

Guess where. Bet you can't.

THE CEILING FAN!

Okay. How did water get in the ceiling fan? I have no idea.

At the moment, the water is dripping in a trashcan on my bed and we are in the process of taking the fan down. We called various "handyman" businesses, but they can't get back with us until next week.

So, until then, I guess I will just be humming: "Raindrops keep falling on my bed.."

Groan. I know. Sorry. I couldn't resist the pun!

AM I DEAD YET?

Recently I purchased a book of 100 Ways to Motivate Yourself. I am the Queen of Procrastination sometimes, and I try to do everything I can to keep myself on task - hence, the book.

I had to laugh when I read the first suggestion for remaining motivated: Get on Your Deathbed. Well, that grabbed my attention! But as I read through it, I realized that the author was simply suggesting that the reader do the really important things in life while there is still time. Not a new concept - but cleverly put, in this case. I smiled to myself and dismissed it as something I already knew.

Then, on the next day, I received an email containing something that the wonderful Erma Bombeck wrote after she discovered she had cancer. It was definitely worth sharing here:

IF I HAD MY LIVE TO LIVE OVER

I was sick instead of pretending the earth would go into a holding pattern if I weren't there for the day.

I would have burned the pink candle sculpted like a rose before it melted in storage.

I would have talked less and listened more.

I would have invited friends over to dinner even if the carpet was stained, or the sofa faded.

I would have eaten the popcorn in the "good" living room and worried much less about the dirt when someone wanted to light a fire in the fireplace.

I would have taken the time to listen to my grandfather ramble about his youth.

I would have shared more of the responsibility carried by my husband.

I never would have insisted the car windows be rolled up on a summer day because my hair had just been teased and sprayed.

I would have sat on the lawn with my grass stains.

I would have cried and laughed less while watching television and more while watching life.

I would never have bought anything just because it was practical, wouldn't show soil, or was guaranteed to last a lifetime.

Instead of wishing away nine months of pregnancy, I'd have cherished every moment and realized that the wonderment growing inside me was the only chance in life to assist God in a miracle.

When my kids kissed me impetuously, I would never have said, "Later. Now go get washed up for dinner."

There would have been more "I love you's".

More "I'm sorry's"

But mostly, given another shot at life, I would seize every minute...look at it and really see it...live it and never give it back.

Since I received this same kind of message within two days, I decided that I needed to really pay attention. I'm pretty good about expressing my heart to my friends and family - but I am not very diligent in valuing my days...in being aware that every day is a gift and I need to pay more attention to the "now" moments. When my life is over, I don't want to still have a list of dreams that I left on the "someday" shelf. I want to know that I didn't waste the hours I was given to grow and learn and become "more".

So, today I will see with fresh eyes...and be grateful. I'm not ready for that tombstone yet!

HAPPY VALENTINES DAY

"For one human being to love another is the most difficult task. It's the work for which all other work is mere preparation." - Rilke

"Some day after we have mastered the winds, the waves and gravity, we will harness for God the energies of love; and then, for a second time in the history of the world, humans will have discovered fire." - Teillard de Chardin

"Everything I understand, I understand only because I love." - Leo Tolstoy

"If you do not love too much, you do not love enough." - Pascal

"Until you have loved, you cannot become yourself." - Emily Dickinson

"Lord, grant that I might not so much see to be loved, as to love." - St. Francis of Assisi

Just some of my favorite quotes on love. May this Valentine's Day find you happy and blessed and filled with gratitude for the love in your life. And - may we be encouraged to reach out and extend love to one another as we realize we are all connected on this marvelous planet.

BIZARRE ENGLISH LANGUAGE

The other day, a writer friend and I had an e-mail discussion about "effect" vs. "affect". This started my brain meandering around the craziness of our language. I have long been a fan of Richard Lederer and his various books about the subject such as Sleeping Dogs Don't Lay (which includes some hilarious drawings-such as a pitiful looking hound dreaming of sitting on a nest of eggs - I recommend this book especially for "Bathroom Reading Material." There is nothing better - and you learn a lot in the process!) Anyway, another friend uses an amusing hand-out when teaching English during her adult night classes, and I borrowed it to share with you here. I have searched for the original author of this material, but cannot find it. If any of you readers know who is responsible for this bit of witty writing, please let me know and I will be more than happy to give them credit. Until then - please enjoy...

There is no egg in eggplant or ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple.
English Muffins were not invented in England or French fries in France.
Sweet meats are candies, while sweetbreads, which aren't sweet, are meat.

We take English for granted. But if we explore its paradoxes, we find that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square, and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.

If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn't the plural of booth, beeth?

One goose, 2 geese.
So, one moose, 2 meese?
One index, two indices?
Is cheese the plural of choose?
Ship by truck and send cargo by ship?
Have noses that run and feet that smell?
park on driveways and drive on parkways?

How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites? How can the weather be hot as hell one day, and cold as hell another?

When a house burns up, it burns down. You fill in a form by filling it out, and an alarm clock goes off by going on. When the stars are out, they are visible, but when the lights are out, they are invisible.

And, why doesn't "Buick" rhyme with "quick"?

Enjoy your Sunday afternoon!

I CAN'T MAKE THIS STUFF UP

My everyday life never ceases to amaze me! Actually - PEOPLE - never cease to amaze me. For example, let's just take a look at an interesting encounter I had yesterday.

I was in a Christian Bookstore with a friend and we were casually working our way through the aisles. I glanced at my watch, and when I looked up, a small, soft-spoken man wanted to know if he could ask me a question.

"Sure", I said, thinking he wanted to know what time it was.
"Do you have some kind of disease that has put you in the wheelchair?" he asked, bending closer and talking even softer.
"Yes," I answered hesitantly.
"Well, I don't know how to ask this, but does this disease keep you from losing weight?"
"No," I said, shocked that anyone would ask that. "It is just called - FAT," I added, resorting to humor.
"Do you have diabetes?" he asked.
"Yes," I replied, now wondering if he was selling something.
"Do you believe in prayer?" he persisted.
"Uh, yes. I pray." I was now becoming annoyed.
"May I pray for you right now?" he asked.

OKAY...What was I supposed to say??? Of course, I said it was fine, but I was trying very hard not to laugh at the awkwardness of the moment - and also dealing with feeling insulted!

Well, suddenly this soft-spoken man became ALIVE with the spirit and began fervently praying that I would be freed from the evils of diabetes, etc. Sigh. Dutifully closing my eyes, I was sure that he was drawing a crowd - the good old fashioned tent-meeting sort of crowd. My friend was poking me in the back, we were both trying not to laugh, and I thought he would NEVER finish! When he did finally stop, we left the store as quickly as possible, seeking somewhere we could finally explode with hysterical laughter.

Later, I was wondering just what it was that made that incident so funny. Maybe it was the shock that someone would actually approach a stranger and cloak their rudeness in the guise of doing God's will. It was just one of a list of experiences I have had since I have been in the wheelchair. They all have this eerie feeling of being "candid-camera" moments. And, I usually react the same way - laughter.

But when you think about it - it really isn't funny. It is rude, condescending, and simply "wrong". God's presence in our lives should lead us to be more loving, gentle, kind, patient - all the things that are listed in the Bible as being the fruit of the spirit. But, nothing about this experience made me feel "God's love". It just made me feel "different."

The good thing is that I am not angry - I am not hurt. I certainly forgive this guy - and can still smile about the experience. That must be a testament to God's presence in MY life. And, I decided to share this openly because I think all of us encounter rude people, judgmental people, angry people - on a daily basis in one form or another. And, all we can do is learn from the encounter. We can strive to be kinder, more sensitive and caring.

And we can laugh. That is the best part.

Also - I will probably avoid Christian bookstores for awhile!

DEMYSTIFYING MYSS

Caroline Myss is a prolific writer and speaker - and I really like her ideas, BUT I find her difficult to read because she is so "wordy". This morning I stumbled across this " morning prayer" she has written and I really liked it - so I thought I would print it here, along with my own personal application.

"I am committed to feeling a bond with each person I meet, ( I need to focus on what makes us alike - and not our differences) to respecting my own intergrity and honor, ( to face my day in honesty and approaching everything in the light of my own truth) to living within the energy of love and compassion and returning to that energy when I don't feel it, (to breathe in the love of God and rely on it, allowing that love to flow through me and touch those around me) to making wise and blessed choices with my will, (to take responsibility for my life - realizing that there is power in the choices I make) to maintaining perceptions of wisdom and non-judgment, (to accept everyone just as they are - not making judgments but choosing to see the light of God in each individual) to release the need to know why things happen as they do, (OKAY -THIS IS TOUGH! I always want a reason - and I waste a lot of emotional time trying to figure things out!) and not to project expectations over how I want this day to be and how I want others to be. (to live in the moment, welcoming all things and accepting that life will unfold as it will and I will adjust.) And finally, my last prayer, is to trust the Divine and with that, I bless my day with gratitude and love. (That needs no other explanation! The attitude of gratitude!)

A beautiful way to begin every day, don't you think?

TAKE TWO AND CALL ME IN THE MORNING

I love the TV show, Boston Legal. Actually - it would be more accurate for me to say that I love the WRITERS of Boston Legal - they are top notch! Week after week they tackle hot button topics in the guise of courtroom drama - and the lawyer summations given by the character, Alan Shore, make more sense than anything I have ever heard from a politician! If he were ever on the ballot, I would gladly vote for him even though I know he is only a fictional character!

Last night, one of the topics dealt with "selling sickness". We cannot watch TV without enduring many ads for pharmaceutical companies promising miricle cures for various "syndromes" and "disorders". Let me just include a bit of last night's script here:

"Has anyone heard of restless legs syndrome? It's where you move your leg about in your sleep. It's awful. You may have it. It many not keep you awake; it doesn't really harm you in any way. It may not bother you in the slightest, but nonetheless it's awful. The pharmaceutical companies have declared it so. So they've invented a drug, and you simply must take it. If you haven't heard of restless leg, by the way, you probably have attention deficit disorder. Awful. We've got a lot of drugs for that one. You must take them. You're depressed? You're not sleeping enough? You think you're shy, but you've actually got a social anxiety disorder. Weak stream? Irritable bowel syndrome? You people have all kinds of ailments you don't know about. Luckily, we've got drugs for every one of them. You must take them."

Isn't this the way it is? How much medication can one body take??? And, how will these pills react with the medication that we "really need" - like blood pressure meds, diabetes meds, etc. This new and controversial medication that is being mandated for young girls - the vaccination against some virus that may cause a type of cervical cancer - has me concerned. No one knows the long-term effects of this medication -Texas is requiring that it be given to children! (It is also being consider here in Virginia.) Where has our common sense gone? Why do we buy into this "brain-washing" where every little tweak and discomfort we feel must be attacked head-on with pharmaceutical cannons?

Heartburn is now acid-reflux disease that can be cured by the little purple pill - and I am so tired of the various erectile disfunction ads that have couples sitting in separate bathtubs on some cliff overlooking the water. What's that about??? Last night's Boston Legal episode even addressed something called Same-sex Attraction Disorder! Can you believe it???

Sigh. All this gives me a headache. I think I'll go take some Tylenol.

RADICAL ISLAM - SCARY STUFF!

There was an interesting and eye-opening program on FOX network this weekend called, "Radical Islam: In Their Own Words." I did not watch it live - instead I taped it so that I could fast-forward through the commercials. This DVR with Comcast has spoiled me!

Anyway, we watched it the next day, and I must say it was thought-provoking, to say the least. I so much want to believe in diplomacy vs. military solutions in our world. But, now I am not so sure.

The program showed footage of actual "Death to America" rallies held, not only in the Middle Eastern countries, but in cities around our own country as well. I know we have freedom of speech - and I am all for that - still it was a bit frightening to see SO MANY PEOPLE spewing such hatred for Americans. There was a lot of film devoted to the brainwashing of small children - similar to the "Youth for Hitler" movement during WWII. Turned my stomach to hear and see violence emanating from such young babes - and then there were the training videos for suicide bombers - even CARTOONS depicting a suicide bomber jumping off a cliff onto a US army vehicle and blowing it up. I can't imagine little children eating their breakfast on a Saturday morning watching that kind of a cartoon.

I know this was a portrayal of RADICAL Islam - and that the moderate faction of the religion is supposedly NOT violent - but, I was shocked by the sheer numbers of the radicals. And, I was disturbed by the thought processes of the culture itself. How obviously ridiculous it seems for America to have even considered the possibility of imposing our way of thinking (i.e. democracy) on these people. Their culture (radical OR moderate) is so fundamentally different from ours that it seems like diplomacy and negotiations are impossible. It is like we live on different planets.

This made me sad. I was actually quite disturbed by the whole program. It left me feeling helpless - completely unsure as to what I am supposed to do with this information. I'm just an average American. I have no control over terrorist cells - over suicide bomber training camps - over violent Muslim brainwashing that apparently is occurring even within the Mosques during time set aside for worship. All it fills me with is fear - which I fight against - and sadness. How do we extend love to all people in this situation? How can we find the common thread that unites us even in the face of such aggressive hatred?

I am convinced that continued military action in Iraq is pointless. Perhaps we should return to a more isolationist view and devote our resources to improving our country and our culture. There are certainly many needs here that warrant our attention. Before we jump in and try to change other people - we should be working on improving ourselves and by doing that, we could re-educate the rest of the world on who America really is. We certainly need to change the perception that we are arrogant bullies. That is perhaps the only way to extend love in this situation.

Anyway - I am sure they will repeat the program. Check your listings and watch it if you get a chance. It will make you think.

The more we think - the better chance we have of finding the right path out of this mess - and perhaps we will all grow closer in the process.

Wouldn't that be a good thing?

BABEL

I love movies. I really enjoy GOING to the movies - though I will confess that sometimes I decide a film will be enjoyed just as much when it comes out on DVD, so I don't rush to the theater to see it. With the Oscars approaching, I have been trying to see all of the nominated films, however - and this weekend I went to see Babel.

The Commonwealth 20 Cinemas DO have 20 screens to show movies on, but they are not all the same. Babel was showing in one of their smaller theaters - which does not bode well for one in a wheelchair - since the designer of the smaller theater obviously felt that if you are in a wheelchair - you are also BLIND - so you have to sit practically on top of the screen! I had a terrible cramp in my neck by the time the movie was over.

Much of the film was subtitled - since it takes place in Morocco, Japan and Mexico. The stories intersect nicely, for the most part, but do not reach the "wow" level of the recent movie, Crash. Cate Blanchett mostly lies around bleeding - while Brad Pitt runs around fratically trying to find help... and then there is this Japanese girl who is deaf and just runs around naked, for the most part. The actress who is portraying her is nominated for an Oscar. Go figure.

The movie made me think about the plight of illegal immigrants in our country - actually, the part of the story that involved Mexico was the best part in my opinion. I also was reminded how glad I am to live in the US - where it is CLEAN. Just watching the "dinner" scene in a remote Moroccan village made me nauseaus. The dirty fingernails and bad teeth were no picnic for me (no pun intended) since I was forced to be so close to the screen! Yuk!

I like to be entertained at the movies. That doesn't mean that I only want to see musicals and comedies - but I don't like to have to work so hard - and Babel was definitely hard work. An artsy-fartsy film that nudged the audience to see the "big picture" - to see how one small action has worldwide consequences.

I got it. I just don't want to see it again - and I certainly do not think it deserves an Oscar.

Not even for the naked girl.

Hooray for hollywood!

GOODBYE, MOLLY!

Author and columnist Molly Ivins died Wednesday, at the age of 62, after a long battle with breast cancer. I always enjoyed her wit and wisdom.

This is one of my favorite quotes:

"I am not anti-gun. I'm pro-knife. Consider the merits of the knife. In the first place, you have to catch up with someone in order to stab him. A general substitution of knives for guns would promote physical fitness. We'd turn into a whole nation of great runners. Plus, knives don't ricochet. And people are seldom killed while cleaning their knives."

Too funny.

I will miss her.