INDECENT EXPOSURE

I do not understand this growing trend of public exposure as a fashion statement. It seems like I am faced daily with a vision of some stranger's anatomy that I would rather not see. Not too long ago, the proverbial butt-crack of a plumber was fodder for humor - but now, young men are nearly handicapped by their desire to wear their pants below their butts, and leave them hanging precariously on a wing and a prayer.

It isn't only teenagers who feel this need to feel the air in uncommon places. I was in Starbucks recently, when a rather large, and amply endowed woman, probably in her late twenties sat at a table next to me. She was in imminent danger of experiencing a wardrobe malfunction. Her deep cleavage began at her chin, and she kept bending over, straining the fabric of her minuscule tank top to the absolute maximum level of expansion. This was not a pretty site. She was not "body beautiful" by any means, but it was obvious that she subscribed to the adage "If you've got it, flaunt it." I kept trying to avert my eyes, actually feeling embarrassed on her behalf, but she was in my direct line of sight and one can only stare at the table for so long. Needless to say, I did not enjoy my coffee.

Earlier in the day, I had been to my hair appointment. There was a new stylist working at the station next to mine. In such close quarters, every time I moved my hand, I brushed against her Jennifer Lopez derriere + 40 pounds that she had poured into a too-tight, too-short mini skirt. When I apologized, she laughed and said, "No problem - it happens all the time!" Uh...why didn't she get a clue and admit to herself that perhaps she had gone up a size or two since purchasing that skirt? I must add here, that she also sported a top that displayed her midriff - translation: roll of flab. What are people thinking???

I'll admit, I'm old. I'm as far away from "with it" as one can get. So perhaps I am missing something here. Maybe there is some incredibly liberating sensation to be found in these "in your face" displays. I keep reading and hearing about the troubled girls in Hollywood who make the party rounds without underwear, and I am completely baffled. Don't they feel a draft? When I was a kid, mothers everywhere reminded their children to wear clean underwear in case they were in a car accident. So - what are mothers saying today? Be sure and leave your undies at home? Remember, someone may take your picture?

I guess modesty has become a thing of the past. So, I'll just accept that some people do not feel inclined to keep things under wraps and they will have to accept the fact that I just might have to cover my eyes.