My sister sent me this link today...I just watched it, and I was so moved, that I had to share it with you now. If this does not touch your heart, something is wrong.
www.afsc.org/iraq/movie.htm
Nothing more I can say.
Monday, October 31, 2005
Saturday, October 29, 2005
THE WAR OF VALUES
I've been thinking lately about values. The word, "values," seems to be bantered about on every TV news show and in all the newpapers and is often thrown down as a gauntlet between the "right" and the "left" in politics. (family values, moral values, etc.) We have all heard that America is a nation founded on Christian values. And in this war on terror both sides claim that "God is on our side." Confusing. Perhaps we each need to take a look at the values we are claiming and honestly assess whether or not we are actually living them.
What are Christian values? Are they not the teachings of Christ? Did Christ teach war? No. Did He teach revenge? No. Did He teach predjudice and devisiveness? No. Christ taught love and He taught by example.
The situation in the Middle East is something like a long-standing family feud where no one actually remembers why there's bad blood, but still harbors grudges. The problems there are the consequences of centuries of painful and fearful actions too complex to be unraveled. I think we are being naive if we think that war is going to solve anything.
As I stated earlier, both sides speak of God (which ALL religions agree means "love"), but we act with war. We speak of faith, but we arm ourselves. We speak of hope, but we destroy. To bring hope, we must practice hope. What would hope do? Hope would take its finger off the trigger and instead offer a hand. Hope would want to listen instead of react. Hope would look for answers instead of accusations. Hope would make way for peace instead of propagating fear.
Do I think those responsible for acts of terror will make these changes? I don't know. But, I DO believe that if we, as Americans, claim to be following the teachings of Christ - then we need to make the changes. The world sees us as a bully...as a nation who invades other nations and attempts to force them to be a democracy like we are. (Are we a democracy? Hmmmm....the electoral college makes me wonder - but that is another subject!) We claim to care about the people...but is that the REAL reason for this war? I think many are beginning to wonder about that now. We "reacted" to 9-11, and now we are in a mess. So, again, we ask ourselves, what are our values?
We need to see "our enemies" with more compassionate eyes. All people everywhere have the same basic needs. In our hearts, we all want love, understanding and hope. I think about our young soldiers who are dying daily in a country far from home while fighting a war we cannot win. And, I think about the Iraqi children, who also suffer and die daily in this war. The numbers of children dead are staggering. If you are interested, check out: www.iraqbodycount.net/names.htm
Perhaps we need to think about the true cost of this war. It is easier to stand back and criticize the president and to choose sides between the Republicans and the Democrats. But it is a lot harder to open our hearts and actually FEEL the consequences of war. It is harder to put a human face on the war.
I read recently about a woman named Marla Ruzicka who is working hard to do just that. She believes that every single person on this planet deserves to be remembered by name. Especially if they are innocent victims. She organized a Commemoration of 100,000 Iragis Killed in the War - a national campaign initiated by Voices For Creative Nonviolence. Check out: www.commondreams.org/views05/1026-21.htm. Here you will read a clear and articulate rendition of a new perspective on this war.
As for costs....I heard on "60 Minutes" that we are spending over 5 Billion dollars a DAY on the war. If we put our Christian Values to work - couldn't we find a better way to spend that money? Just think how much that could do to eleviate the suffering in the Sudan.
Wouldn't it be a wonderful thing if the world looked at our country and admired us for our compassion...our willingness to see the good in people? Can you imagine what an impact we could have for peace if the world looked at America and actually saw the embodiment of the Christian Values we proclaim to have?
I don't know how to change things. I can only start with me.
What are Christian values? Are they not the teachings of Christ? Did Christ teach war? No. Did He teach revenge? No. Did He teach predjudice and devisiveness? No. Christ taught love and He taught by example.
The situation in the Middle East is something like a long-standing family feud where no one actually remembers why there's bad blood, but still harbors grudges. The problems there are the consequences of centuries of painful and fearful actions too complex to be unraveled. I think we are being naive if we think that war is going to solve anything.
As I stated earlier, both sides speak of God (which ALL religions agree means "love"), but we act with war. We speak of faith, but we arm ourselves. We speak of hope, but we destroy. To bring hope, we must practice hope. What would hope do? Hope would take its finger off the trigger and instead offer a hand. Hope would want to listen instead of react. Hope would look for answers instead of accusations. Hope would make way for peace instead of propagating fear.
Do I think those responsible for acts of terror will make these changes? I don't know. But, I DO believe that if we, as Americans, claim to be following the teachings of Christ - then we need to make the changes. The world sees us as a bully...as a nation who invades other nations and attempts to force them to be a democracy like we are. (Are we a democracy? Hmmmm....the electoral college makes me wonder - but that is another subject!) We claim to care about the people...but is that the REAL reason for this war? I think many are beginning to wonder about that now. We "reacted" to 9-11, and now we are in a mess. So, again, we ask ourselves, what are our values?
We need to see "our enemies" with more compassionate eyes. All people everywhere have the same basic needs. In our hearts, we all want love, understanding and hope. I think about our young soldiers who are dying daily in a country far from home while fighting a war we cannot win. And, I think about the Iraqi children, who also suffer and die daily in this war. The numbers of children dead are staggering. If you are interested, check out: www.iraqbodycount.net/names.htm
Perhaps we need to think about the true cost of this war. It is easier to stand back and criticize the president and to choose sides between the Republicans and the Democrats. But it is a lot harder to open our hearts and actually FEEL the consequences of war. It is harder to put a human face on the war.
I read recently about a woman named Marla Ruzicka who is working hard to do just that. She believes that every single person on this planet deserves to be remembered by name. Especially if they are innocent victims. She organized a Commemoration of 100,000 Iragis Killed in the War - a national campaign initiated by Voices For Creative Nonviolence. Check out: www.commondreams.org/views05/1026-21.htm. Here you will read a clear and articulate rendition of a new perspective on this war.
As for costs....I heard on "60 Minutes" that we are spending over 5 Billion dollars a DAY on the war. If we put our Christian Values to work - couldn't we find a better way to spend that money? Just think how much that could do to eleviate the suffering in the Sudan.
Wouldn't it be a wonderful thing if the world looked at our country and admired us for our compassion...our willingness to see the good in people? Can you imagine what an impact we could have for peace if the world looked at America and actually saw the embodiment of the Christian Values we proclaim to have?
I don't know how to change things. I can only start with me.
Thursday, October 27, 2005
JUST FOR FUN
Thought I would treat you to a delightful poem I stumbled upon:
Ode to Gaiety
Go Gloom
Begone glum and grim
Off with the drab drear and grumble
It's time
it's past time
to come undone and come out laughing
time to wrap killjoys in wet blankets
and feed them to the sourpusses
Ode to Gaiety
Go Gloom
Begone glum and grim
Off with the drab drear and grumble
It's time
it's past time
to come undone and come out laughing
time to wrap killjoys in wet blankets
and feed them to the sourpusses
Come frisky pals
Come forth wily wags
Loosen your screws and get off your rocker
Untie the strait lacer
Tie up the smarty pants
Tickle the crosspatch with josh and guffaw
Share quips and pranks with every victim
of grouch pomposity or blah
Woe to the bozo who says No to
tee hee ho ho and ha ha
Boo to the cleancut klutz who
wipes the smile off his face
Without gaiety
freedom is a chastity belt
Without gaiety
life is a wooden kimono
Come cheerful chums
Cut up and carry on
Crack your pots and split your sides
Boggle the bellyacher
Convulse the worrywart
Pratfall the prissy poos and the fuddy duds
Take drollery to heart or end up a deadhead
at the guillotine of the mindless
Be wise and go merry round
whatever you cherish
what you love to enjoy what you live to exert
And when the high spirits
call your number up
count on merriment all the way to the countdown
Long live hilarity euphoria and flumadiddle
long live gaiety
for all the laity
James Broughton - 1988
I just love the words...the sound of them...the way they fall together like laughter!
Wednesday, October 26, 2005
GRATEFULNESS
A few years ago, the idea of practicing an attitude of gratitude became the "in" thing to do. I think it was always floating around somewhere - but when Oprah came out in favor of keeping a gratefulness journal, the movement took off and suddenly there were articles about the subject in all the women's magazines and actual Gratefulness Journels appeared on the shelves of Barnes and Noble and even in Sam's Club. Suddenly being thankful was popular! (Oh, the power of Oprah! But that is a subject of another blog!)
Not wanting to be out of the loop, I purchased my journal and decided to give it a try. The instructions were (oh, yes...there were INSTRUCTIONS!) to list five things you are grateful for every night before you go to bed. I remember my first try at this. I opened my journal, breathing in the "new book smell"...took my new pen (yes...I needed that!) and wrote "#1". Then, I sat there. As I tried to think back on my day, it was a blur. I took a deep breath. I yawned. I looked at the clock. I yawned again. Finally, in a moment of forced inspiration, I wrote, "#1. I am grateful for my bed." Okay. That was a start. Now..."#2. I am grateful for my soft pillows." I yawned again. "#3. I am grateful for this warm, soft blanket." I was on a roll! I was so sleepy I could hardly sit up anymore, so I decided that was enough for the day, and promised myself I would do better.
The next night, it was the same. I was grateful for my bed. By the third night, I decided I lived a pathetic life if all I could think of to be grateful for was my bed and I shoved the journal in the bottom of a drawer and forgot all about it.
A few months ago, while on a cleaning jag trying to de-clutter my drawers, I uncovered that journal. I laughed when I opened it up and remembered how difficult it had been for me to think of things to write down. Now, I think I could write pages every day. Perhaps it is simply a process of growing, as life continues to hurl things in my direction. Perhaps it is simply maturity (it comes to some of us later that it should!).
I was reading a book called "Pronoia" the other day, by Rob Brezny. He is a wild writer - and I can only read a little bit of his stuff at a time. But he had this section entitled, "Glory in the Highest", and it was essentially a long list of things to be grateful for every day. He REALLY went into detail, writing about how the sun is the precise distance from the earth to be of perfect service to us; he wrote about the miraculous biology and science that makes up every human being; then he continued to expound on things like electricity and running water and shelter, etc. It really made me think. The best part was at the end of this list of bountiful blessings, he noted that if our showers are too cold, or the car doesn't start up right away, or the garbage men wake us too early, we claim that our entire day is ruined. I was ashamed to admit that sometimes, that is true.
Still, if you asked me today, I would tell you how grateful I am for every day that the Lupus doesn't exhaust me to such an extent that I cannot do ordinary things. I am grateful that, even though I am in a wheelchair, I can take a few steps. I am grateful that I have love in my life and that I can always find something to laugh about. I am grateful for books and music and art and nature and for each day that I learn something new.
By the way, I put that gratefulness journal back in the bottom of my drawer. Somehow, if I turn my gratitude into something I have to write down, then it loses the joy. It becomes just another list to keep or a job to do. Instead, I choose to open my heart to the gifts in my life, embrace them with enthusiasm, and in joy, silently sing a thousand "thank you's". Glory in the Highest....wonderful way to think about how blessed we are!
Not wanting to be out of the loop, I purchased my journal and decided to give it a try. The instructions were (oh, yes...there were INSTRUCTIONS!) to list five things you are grateful for every night before you go to bed. I remember my first try at this. I opened my journal, breathing in the "new book smell"...took my new pen (yes...I needed that!) and wrote "#1". Then, I sat there. As I tried to think back on my day, it was a blur. I took a deep breath. I yawned. I looked at the clock. I yawned again. Finally, in a moment of forced inspiration, I wrote, "#1. I am grateful for my bed." Okay. That was a start. Now..."#2. I am grateful for my soft pillows." I yawned again. "#3. I am grateful for this warm, soft blanket." I was on a roll! I was so sleepy I could hardly sit up anymore, so I decided that was enough for the day, and promised myself I would do better.
The next night, it was the same. I was grateful for my bed. By the third night, I decided I lived a pathetic life if all I could think of to be grateful for was my bed and I shoved the journal in the bottom of a drawer and forgot all about it.
A few months ago, while on a cleaning jag trying to de-clutter my drawers, I uncovered that journal. I laughed when I opened it up and remembered how difficult it had been for me to think of things to write down. Now, I think I could write pages every day. Perhaps it is simply a process of growing, as life continues to hurl things in my direction. Perhaps it is simply maturity (it comes to some of us later that it should!).
I was reading a book called "Pronoia" the other day, by Rob Brezny. He is a wild writer - and I can only read a little bit of his stuff at a time. But he had this section entitled, "Glory in the Highest", and it was essentially a long list of things to be grateful for every day. He REALLY went into detail, writing about how the sun is the precise distance from the earth to be of perfect service to us; he wrote about the miraculous biology and science that makes up every human being; then he continued to expound on things like electricity and running water and shelter, etc. It really made me think. The best part was at the end of this list of bountiful blessings, he noted that if our showers are too cold, or the car doesn't start up right away, or the garbage men wake us too early, we claim that our entire day is ruined. I was ashamed to admit that sometimes, that is true.
Still, if you asked me today, I would tell you how grateful I am for every day that the Lupus doesn't exhaust me to such an extent that I cannot do ordinary things. I am grateful that, even though I am in a wheelchair, I can take a few steps. I am grateful that I have love in my life and that I can always find something to laugh about. I am grateful for books and music and art and nature and for each day that I learn something new.
By the way, I put that gratefulness journal back in the bottom of my drawer. Somehow, if I turn my gratitude into something I have to write down, then it loses the joy. It becomes just another list to keep or a job to do. Instead, I choose to open my heart to the gifts in my life, embrace them with enthusiasm, and in joy, silently sing a thousand "thank you's". Glory in the Highest....wonderful way to think about how blessed we are!
Tuesday, October 25, 2005
SKIRMISHES OF THE FAITH
I take a deep breath...
centering myself in that place where
I have discovered what I call, "the knowing".
So many years of clamoring for a quiet space of peace...
looking in all the most familiar and
culturally accepted places
and never once considering the possibility that what I needed,
resided within me.
But now that "the knowing" rings inside me
like resonant temple bells,
deep and sure,
I am faced with explaining myself...
explaining my need to travel on my own path -
separating from the many,
to live and breathe as a solitary soul,
compelled to follow the call I hear
that leads me to a freedom where
my questions are welcomed.
And in this separating, I find a greater sense of belonging.
How can I explain this to ears that refuse to hear?
Even as I am moving away,
I am actually drawing closer.
It is a paradox that must be felt...
impossible to describe with inadequate words and phrases.
How can I convey the vastness of God as I am discovering Him to be?
Once I freed Him to be more -
He simply was...
and, in actuality, He always has been.
For most of my life, my search focused on a tiny room,
with walls of dogma...
painted in man-made rules and guidelines.
It was a colorless place of conformity and sameness and lies,
where reverance was shown by pretending there were no questions.
Only a portion of His shadow lived in that place.
But now I open my eyes and welcome the brightness of the universe -
the mysteries and wonders that are simply fingerprints of His love,
knowing that I will never discover where God ends,
but I will continue to follow as He whispers to my heart,
"Look! There's even more!"
And sometimes, I can hear the music of His laughter,
and I know true joy.
Terre - 2004
Friday, October 21, 2005
THE NORTH COUNTRY
I went to the movies this afternoon to see The North Country with Charlize Theron. So many great stars in it - Frances McDormand, Sissy Spacek....so I expected a great movie. sigh. Actually, it was okay - it held my interest, but I thought it was a pale imitation of Norma Rae - and Silkwood. Both of those were far more engaging.
So - my advice would be to wait for it to be on pay-per-view or DVD rental. Still, I would guess that Charlize will get an Acadamy Award nomination for it. That seems to be the way Hollywood is. Most of the time, the best movies don't get noticed. I still think the best one so far this year is In Her Shoes.
Oh well...who asked for my opinion anyway! Have a great weekend!
So - my advice would be to wait for it to be on pay-per-view or DVD rental. Still, I would guess that Charlize will get an Acadamy Award nomination for it. That seems to be the way Hollywood is. Most of the time, the best movies don't get noticed. I still think the best one so far this year is In Her Shoes.
Oh well...who asked for my opinion anyway! Have a great weekend!
Thursday, October 20, 2005
EXPAND YOUR IDEA OF LOVE
"We are put on earth for a little space, that we may learn to bear the beams of love." - William Blake.
There is no doubt about it...romance is great! We are inundated with images of romantic bliss everywhere we look - on TV, in movies, in books and magazines - and we can lull ourselves into thinking that finding that "happy-ever-after" with our soul mate is the be-all and end-all in life.
But, no matter our particular romantic circumstances, we are all here to love, to open our hearts to the majesty and mystery of the human capacity to care for and about other human beings. To care in an authentic way - without conditions...without judgments...without the need to mold another human being into someone more like we are. To care, while embracing the creative genious that makes each of us a unique, one-of-a-kind miracle with our own ideas, dreams, gifts and needs. The great philosopher, Aristotle, believed that the happy life was to be found in creating genuine friendships, in forging lasting bonds to others that were not contingent upon romance or upon agreeing with others about everything. He believed that happiness came from our ability to love and appreciate our differences as much as our similarities. Maybe he was on to something!
How wide can my heart open? How can I be kinder and more patient with those I encounter? Where is there someone in need of my smile, my touch, my encouraging word? I read somewhere that Helen Keller asked herself each day, "Where does the river of love want to flow now in me?"
In loving and being loved, I think we become more truly ourselves. And, by being ourselves, we know and fully experience the gift of joy. It is my belief that, in the end, nothing we do or say in this lifetime will matter as much as the ways we have loved one another.
Just something to think about.
There is no doubt about it...romance is great! We are inundated with images of romantic bliss everywhere we look - on TV, in movies, in books and magazines - and we can lull ourselves into thinking that finding that "happy-ever-after" with our soul mate is the be-all and end-all in life.
But, no matter our particular romantic circumstances, we are all here to love, to open our hearts to the majesty and mystery of the human capacity to care for and about other human beings. To care in an authentic way - without conditions...without judgments...without the need to mold another human being into someone more like we are. To care, while embracing the creative genious that makes each of us a unique, one-of-a-kind miracle with our own ideas, dreams, gifts and needs. The great philosopher, Aristotle, believed that the happy life was to be found in creating genuine friendships, in forging lasting bonds to others that were not contingent upon romance or upon agreeing with others about everything. He believed that happiness came from our ability to love and appreciate our differences as much as our similarities. Maybe he was on to something!
How wide can my heart open? How can I be kinder and more patient with those I encounter? Where is there someone in need of my smile, my touch, my encouraging word? I read somewhere that Helen Keller asked herself each day, "Where does the river of love want to flow now in me?"
In loving and being loved, I think we become more truly ourselves. And, by being ourselves, we know and fully experience the gift of joy. It is my belief that, in the end, nothing we do or say in this lifetime will matter as much as the ways we have loved one another.
Just something to think about.
Wednesday, October 19, 2005
THE MIND IS A TERRIBLE THING TO WASTE
Years ago, when I was attending a women's conference somewhere I overheard a woman say, "I'm never lonely because I always enjoy the contents of my mind." Okay. At the time I heard that statement, the only thing that registered with me was what a dorky thing to say. But for some reason this morning, that statement floated to the surface of my conscious thought and it caused me to inventory the contents of my own mind.
I discovered a plethora of useless information that was nothing short of scary! Let's see...I know all the words to the theme songs from such shows as "The Beverly Hillbillies", "Gilligan's Island", "Mary Tyler Moore Show" - as well as the lyrics to every sappy love song from the 30's and 40's. (Please note, I was not BORN until the mid "50s!) I know tons of advertising jingles including the two-all-beef-patties-special-sauce-lettuce-cheese-pickles-onions-on-a-sesame-seed-bun! sigh
Also in my mind are opinions about people and places and things. The weird thing is that I don't really know if these are MY opinions, or just opinions I have acquired through osmosis! Then there are all the things that I believe about myself...the tape recordings that run in my head that are filled with pronouncements about who I am and what I can or cannot do well. Again - these are essentially thoughts that flash unchallenged as to their validity or value in my life.
What I think matters. What I think ABOUT matters. I don't want things freely traveling through my mind that are negative because then I am negative. So this was another little reminder to be mindful of the moment - not just what is happening on the outside, but what is happening on the inside. Actually, I believe that is far more important. If you are negative you are rotting from the inside out...if you are positive, you are shining from the inside out, creating your life as you want it to be.
So, maybe that comment wasn't so dorky after all. It had the power to cause me to think about what I am thinking!
By the way - I've decided that the goofy trivia can stay! It makes me laugh! Capital One has a current slogan: "So, what's in your wallet?" I'll just change that a bit and ask, "So, what's in your brain?"
Ah, Trivia Queen to the end!
I discovered a plethora of useless information that was nothing short of scary! Let's see...I know all the words to the theme songs from such shows as "The Beverly Hillbillies", "Gilligan's Island", "Mary Tyler Moore Show" - as well as the lyrics to every sappy love song from the 30's and 40's. (Please note, I was not BORN until the mid "50s!) I know tons of advertising jingles including the two-all-beef-patties-special-sauce-lettuce-cheese-pickles-onions-on-a-sesame-seed-bun! sigh
Also in my mind are opinions about people and places and things. The weird thing is that I don't really know if these are MY opinions, or just opinions I have acquired through osmosis! Then there are all the things that I believe about myself...the tape recordings that run in my head that are filled with pronouncements about who I am and what I can or cannot do well. Again - these are essentially thoughts that flash unchallenged as to their validity or value in my life.
What I think matters. What I think ABOUT matters. I don't want things freely traveling through my mind that are negative because then I am negative. So this was another little reminder to be mindful of the moment - not just what is happening on the outside, but what is happening on the inside. Actually, I believe that is far more important. If you are negative you are rotting from the inside out...if you are positive, you are shining from the inside out, creating your life as you want it to be.
So, maybe that comment wasn't so dorky after all. It had the power to cause me to think about what I am thinking!
By the way - I've decided that the goofy trivia can stay! It makes me laugh! Capital One has a current slogan: "So, what's in your wallet?" I'll just change that a bit and ask, "So, what's in your brain?"
Ah, Trivia Queen to the end!
Tuesday, October 18, 2005
A LITTLE POOP WILL GO A LONG WAY!!!
Yesterday morning started out terribly for me. In order for you to get the entire picture, you must first know that my pomeranian, Bizy, is paper trained. Well, "pad-trained" actually. And usually, she is really good. But, lately, we have been having trouble with her "traveling" while pooping. So we never know when we will discover a stray...uh...poop. This can be a disaster if I run over it in the wheelchair! Got the picture? sigh.
Okay...so back to yesterday morning...I rolled into the kitchen to fix the coffee...cleaned up Bizy's pad, gave her the morning "cookie" she demands, turned around to get the coffee pot and when I looked, Bizy had obviously stepped in some hidden poop somewhere, and in a matter of seconds, I had 30 or 40 little poopy paw prints all over the kitchen floor. Damn! So, I knew I had to catch her and clean her feet before I could even attempt to clean the floor OR find the hidden POOP! So....I grab her up and she hits me in the face with one of her dirty paws. At the time, I could see no humor in this situation! NONE! And...as I was cleaning her, the floor and ME, I thought about how much life is like this! I mean, you get up in the morning and life hits you in the face with poop!
The day continued nicely, really. The weather was beautiful. I went to Books-a-Million and wandered to my hearts content. Everything else about my day was great...but I kept thinking about my terrible morning.
When I crawled into bed last night, it dawned on me how much thought and emotion I had invested in what really amounted to a little piece of stray poop! Why do we do that? Why is it so easy to focus on the negative things in our lives, and ignore all the positive things? How many miracles am I missing because I refuse to let go of petty unimportant annoyances?
And, this negativity can spread - not just to events in our day - but to relationships with others - AND how we view ourselves. I'm sure you can think of someone you know who only sees the negative in everything. And...I am also sure that those people are never...NEVER...happy.
I read recently that focusing on the positive is so powerful an agent for positive change that a whole new business field of organizational development called Appreciative Inquiry has sprung up to investigate and expand this notion. A search for the best in people and systems, the foundations of Appreciative Inquiry include the "positive principle," as James D. Ludema calls it, which holds that "human beings and organizations move in the direction of what they focus on." In other words, look for problems and you will find them. Look for what's working and you will find that. Okay....not rocket science. (The Appreciative Inquiry, has a website, by the way!)
So....I share all this to say that just because your day or your life has a little poopy in it - I know that there are far more wonderful things to focus on - and that will always be the key to happiness.
As I fell asleep last night, I thought about what a nice day it had been and I was even able to laugh about the morning's fiasco. That is progress!
(by the way - this morning was just fine!)
Marilyn found a card to send to a friend that says: When life hands you lemons, make lemonade...but when life hands you a load of crap, don't touch it!
Go look for the good things today!
Okay...so back to yesterday morning...I rolled into the kitchen to fix the coffee...cleaned up Bizy's pad, gave her the morning "cookie" she demands, turned around to get the coffee pot and when I looked, Bizy had obviously stepped in some hidden poop somewhere, and in a matter of seconds, I had 30 or 40 little poopy paw prints all over the kitchen floor. Damn! So, I knew I had to catch her and clean her feet before I could even attempt to clean the floor OR find the hidden POOP! So....I grab her up and she hits me in the face with one of her dirty paws. At the time, I could see no humor in this situation! NONE! And...as I was cleaning her, the floor and ME, I thought about how much life is like this! I mean, you get up in the morning and life hits you in the face with poop!
The day continued nicely, really. The weather was beautiful. I went to Books-a-Million and wandered to my hearts content. Everything else about my day was great...but I kept thinking about my terrible morning.
When I crawled into bed last night, it dawned on me how much thought and emotion I had invested in what really amounted to a little piece of stray poop! Why do we do that? Why is it so easy to focus on the negative things in our lives, and ignore all the positive things? How many miracles am I missing because I refuse to let go of petty unimportant annoyances?
And, this negativity can spread - not just to events in our day - but to relationships with others - AND how we view ourselves. I'm sure you can think of someone you know who only sees the negative in everything. And...I am also sure that those people are never...NEVER...happy.
I read recently that focusing on the positive is so powerful an agent for positive change that a whole new business field of organizational development called Appreciative Inquiry has sprung up to investigate and expand this notion. A search for the best in people and systems, the foundations of Appreciative Inquiry include the "positive principle," as James D. Ludema calls it, which holds that "human beings and organizations move in the direction of what they focus on." In other words, look for problems and you will find them. Look for what's working and you will find that. Okay....not rocket science. (The Appreciative Inquiry, has a website, by the way!)
So....I share all this to say that just because your day or your life has a little poopy in it - I know that there are far more wonderful things to focus on - and that will always be the key to happiness.
As I fell asleep last night, I thought about what a nice day it had been and I was even able to laugh about the morning's fiasco. That is progress!
(by the way - this morning was just fine!)
Marilyn found a card to send to a friend that says: When life hands you lemons, make lemonade...but when life hands you a load of crap, don't touch it!
Go look for the good things today!
Sunday, October 16, 2005
SHORT AND SWEET
Just a quick quote today:
"It is only possible to live happily-ever-after on a day-to-day basis." - Margaret Bonnano
Hmmmmm.....so much truth in so few words!
Happy Day to ALL!
"It is only possible to live happily-ever-after on a day-to-day basis." - Margaret Bonnano
Hmmmmm.....so much truth in so few words!
Happy Day to ALL!
Saturday, October 15, 2005
A GOD THING
Let me share something I read this morning by Rev. Jesse Jennings:
"We learn more about ourselves around people, than we do in a vacuum. We can sit alone and have a little chuckle over what's on TV, but for a real gut-busting laugh, we need somebody else in the room with whom we are comfortable being silly with. The people in our lives are there because we've chosen them, as much as they have chosen us. It is a "God Thing".
This made me think of all the times I have enjoyed that "pee-in-my-pants" kind of laughing with friends. There really is nothing like it! My sister and I can dissolve into hysterics over the littlest things - and of course, after we have recovered, we realize how crazy we are, and we swear each other to secrecy...so I can't share details with you!!! Marilyn and I laugh a zillion times a day - over things I couldn't begin to explain why they are funny...they just are. But maybe it really is about the comfort level in the relationship...the risk of being vulnerable and silly with someone.
It is easy sometimes, to let days go by without treating ourselves to the wonder of friends and family. We get involved in life, and forget to make that phone call - or write that funny e-mail and before we know it, weeks have passed without reaching out to appreciate the people we love.
Love is not only a warm and safe emotional blanket we enjoy...but it is a crazy, zany, spontaneous joy that explodes in that kind of laughter where we are rendered unable to function as we gasp for air and wipe tears from our eyes. Those are the moments we will always remember - even when we can't remember what we were laughing about, we will remember who we were laughing with. Those moments feel good. They fill us with energy. They erase all the negativity in our lives - even if just for a little while.
And that, my friends, is definitely a "God Thing".
"We learn more about ourselves around people, than we do in a vacuum. We can sit alone and have a little chuckle over what's on TV, but for a real gut-busting laugh, we need somebody else in the room with whom we are comfortable being silly with. The people in our lives are there because we've chosen them, as much as they have chosen us. It is a "God Thing".
This made me think of all the times I have enjoyed that "pee-in-my-pants" kind of laughing with friends. There really is nothing like it! My sister and I can dissolve into hysterics over the littlest things - and of course, after we have recovered, we realize how crazy we are, and we swear each other to secrecy...so I can't share details with you!!! Marilyn and I laugh a zillion times a day - over things I couldn't begin to explain why they are funny...they just are. But maybe it really is about the comfort level in the relationship...the risk of being vulnerable and silly with someone.
It is easy sometimes, to let days go by without treating ourselves to the wonder of friends and family. We get involved in life, and forget to make that phone call - or write that funny e-mail and before we know it, weeks have passed without reaching out to appreciate the people we love.
Love is not only a warm and safe emotional blanket we enjoy...but it is a crazy, zany, spontaneous joy that explodes in that kind of laughter where we are rendered unable to function as we gasp for air and wipe tears from our eyes. Those are the moments we will always remember - even when we can't remember what we were laughing about, we will remember who we were laughing with. Those moments feel good. They fill us with energy. They erase all the negativity in our lives - even if just for a little while.
And that, my friends, is definitely a "God Thing".
Wednesday, October 12, 2005
WHO IS MY MASTER?
I received an anonymous post today that really made me think. Actually, I am not sure WHY I received the post - but they asked me "Who is my Master?" hmmmmm. As I responded, the question turned over and over in my brain. As I told them, I do not choose to think in terms of a "Master" for that would imply that I am a slave. If the anonymous person was implying that God is NOT my master - they would be correct. God calls us his children - and that is what I am. God is love. If there truly is a master in my life, I suppose it would be me - since I am ultimately responsible for all my decisions and actions. I was reminded of an old and familiar poem by W.E. Henley:
Out of the night that covers me, black as the pit from pole
to pole, I thank whatever gods may be for my unconquerable soul.
In the fell clutch of circumstance I have not winced nor
cried aloud. Under the bludgeionings of chance my head
is bloody, but unbowed.
Beyond this place of wrath and tears, looms but the
horror of the shade, and yet the menace of the years finds,
and shall find me, unafraid.
It matters not how strait the gate, how charged with
punishments the scroll,
I am the master of my fate;
I am the captain of my soul.
My God...that touch of the divine spirit...lives within me. Therefore, whatever circumstances come my way...whatever life throws at me...whatever choices I make...I am in His love. There is great freedom in that truth - and a reason to find wonder in every day.
Have a wonderful day - one in which you are truly aware of the miracles to be found in each moment and in the recognition of the touch of the Divine in everyone - even those we disagree with!
Out of the night that covers me, black as the pit from pole
to pole, I thank whatever gods may be for my unconquerable soul.
In the fell clutch of circumstance I have not winced nor
cried aloud. Under the bludgeionings of chance my head
is bloody, but unbowed.
Beyond this place of wrath and tears, looms but the
horror of the shade, and yet the menace of the years finds,
and shall find me, unafraid.
It matters not how strait the gate, how charged with
punishments the scroll,
I am the master of my fate;
I am the captain of my soul.
My God...that touch of the divine spirit...lives within me. Therefore, whatever circumstances come my way...whatever life throws at me...whatever choices I make...I am in His love. There is great freedom in that truth - and a reason to find wonder in every day.
Have a wonderful day - one in which you are truly aware of the miracles to be found in each moment and in the recognition of the touch of the Divine in everyone - even those we disagree with!
Tuesday, October 11, 2005
SENTIMENTAL JOURNEY
Okay, I'll confess. I must be in a sentimental mood. Just browsing through some of the books piled on my desk (actually, I was stalling cleaning OFF my desk) and found a book of poems by Nikki Giovanni. Other than being a famous and prolific poet - she also teaches at Virginia Tech OR UVA, I can't remember which. I know...it is really important if you are a "Hoo" or a "Cavalier". Obviously, I am neither, or I would have remembered.
Anyway - this poem is just wonderful. It is entitled A Poem of Friendship...but it could apply to any relationship that is dear to us:
We are not lovers
because of the love
we make
but the love
we have.
We are not friends
because of the laughs
we spend
but the tears
we save.
I don't want to be near you
for the thoughts we share
but the words we never have
to speak.
I will never miss you
because of what we do
but what we are
together.
Isn't that wonderful??? Really makes you think about what is important in relationships. Sometimes all the external things seem to loom before us, blocking our vision of what is the most life-giving element to love. Giving and giving - and making something beautiful with another person, whether it is a spouse, lover, sibling, or friend. It doesn't require money or even large blocks of time. It is about listening, and learning, and wishing only for the best...and always, but always, striving to be selfless...to not allow the deadly "what's in it for me" to rear its ugly head. Sometimes, usually in just a handful of relationships, we get it right. And, when we do...there is nothing better!
Anyway - this poem is just wonderful. It is entitled A Poem of Friendship...but it could apply to any relationship that is dear to us:
We are not lovers
because of the love
we make
but the love
we have.
We are not friends
because of the laughs
we spend
but the tears
we save.
I don't want to be near you
for the thoughts we share
but the words we never have
to speak.
I will never miss you
because of what we do
but what we are
together.
Isn't that wonderful??? Really makes you think about what is important in relationships. Sometimes all the external things seem to loom before us, blocking our vision of what is the most life-giving element to love. Giving and giving - and making something beautiful with another person, whether it is a spouse, lover, sibling, or friend. It doesn't require money or even large blocks of time. It is about listening, and learning, and wishing only for the best...and always, but always, striving to be selfless...to not allow the deadly "what's in it for me" to rear its ugly head. Sometimes, usually in just a handful of relationships, we get it right. And, when we do...there is nothing better!
Sunday, October 09, 2005
IN HER SHOES
You just HAVE to see this movie! Marilyn and I went yesterday - and it is the best film I have seen in a long time. I suppose it could be catogorized as a "chick flick"....but I hate to limit it that way. Such a realistic story of love, friendship, family and forgiveness. In a crucial moment of the film, one of the characters reads a poem by e e cummings. It was so moving, I immediately found it on the internet. I wanted to share it with you:
i carry your heart with me (i carry it in my heart)
i am never without it (anywhere i go, you go, my dear; and whatever is done by only me is your doing, my darling)
i fear no fate (for you are my fate, my sweet)
i want no world (for beautiful, you are my world, my true)
and it's you
whatever a moon has always meant and whatever a sun will always sing, is you
here is the deepest secret nobody knows
(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud and the sky of the sky of a tree called life;
which grows higher than the soul can hope or mind can hide)
and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart
i carry your heart (i carry it in my heart)
sigh. Go see the movie.
i carry your heart with me (i carry it in my heart)
i am never without it (anywhere i go, you go, my dear; and whatever is done by only me is your doing, my darling)
i fear no fate (for you are my fate, my sweet)
i want no world (for beautiful, you are my world, my true)
and it's you
whatever a moon has always meant and whatever a sun will always sing, is you
here is the deepest secret nobody knows
(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud and the sky of the sky of a tree called life;
which grows higher than the soul can hope or mind can hide)
and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart
i carry your heart (i carry it in my heart)
sigh. Go see the movie.
Thursday, October 06, 2005
DIVINE INSPIRATION
I recently purchased a set of affirmation cards. I like to start my day reading something short and thought-provoking....to get the old brain going! I was already seriously considering taking most of the day to just relax. This is SO hard for me! I am a "list" person and I judge the value of my day by what I have accomplished. Even as I thought about the possibility of spending this day with a good book, my mind was scampering over things I should do "first". Anyway - I opened the box of cards, pulled one out of the deck, and this is what it said: "Today I will do something just for the fun of it. I will find something to do that's just for me, and I won't worry about what I "should" be doing. I will learn how to make myself feel good and enjoy life to the fullest."
Okay. Freaky. (Strains of the Twilight Zone Theme play here!)
So - since it is obvious that the Universe is speaking to me - I am grabbing a book, settling on the sofa, and doing absolutely NOTHING on my to-do list today! After all, I am not being lazy, or self-indulgent...I am simply responding to divine inspiration!
Okay. Freaky. (Strains of the Twilight Zone Theme play here!)
So - since it is obvious that the Universe is speaking to me - I am grabbing a book, settling on the sofa, and doing absolutely NOTHING on my to-do list today! After all, I am not being lazy, or self-indulgent...I am simply responding to divine inspiration!
Wednesday, October 05, 2005
THE THREE UGLY STEPSISTERS (AGENTS)
This past weekend I attended the annual James River Writer's Conference. This was my first time at the event - and I absolutely loved it! I learned so many new things - met so many interesting people - and it will take a while for me to absorb it all.
Being rather new to this "writing for REAL" adventure - I continue to have my eyes opened regarding the "business end" of things. There is so much more involved to the craft then just writing the novel/short story/poem - whatever. Once you start sending off your work in hopes of finding an agent or publisher - you encounter the mysterious and undefinable realm of "luck".
One of the conference's sessions involved a panel of three literary agents. We were asked when we registered for the conference to send in the first page of our novels. An actor read the page - and then the agents critiqued it and let the audience know if they would be interested enough to continue to the second page of the book. There were 200 participants at the conference - they only had time to do the first 15 pages that were submitted. After listening to the agents brutal comments, I was so grateful that my page was not read!
This session was eye-opening to me. The three agents were not at all what I expected. One was a petite, well-dressed woman, who specialized in selling foreign rights to already published novels. She was the least opinionated one on the panel. Actually, she appeared confused about why she was there. She had nothing good to say about any of the work - but also, had nothing really BAD to say, either. The agent sitting in the middle looked as though someone had pulled her out of a bar at 5 in the morning, poured several cups of strong coffee down her throat, snatched the cigarette out of her mouth and plopped her onstage. She was crude and rude and her comments were unnecessarily sarcastic and cutting. (Possible the result of a horrendous hangover!) The third agent had obviously not had a good night's sleep in months, and was in dreadful need of a shampoo. She was also mostly negative, but she did, at least, attempt to find one small positive thing to say about each page, even if it was something as innocuous as nice margins.
Listening and observing these three women opened my eyes to what happens to that precious manuscript which we authors place carefully in the mail, complete with all our hopes and dreams. I realized that rejection letters do not mean that the work is not good or that we have no talent. More than likely, rejection letters come because the agent was too tired/drunk/in a bad mood/broke up with boyfriend/argued with mother/had car trouble - just prior to reading the manuscript at 1:30 a.m. after a full day at work. I really believe J.K.Rowling could have submitted the first page of Harry Potter - and these three women would have thrown it in the trash. (Actually - J.K.Rowling WAS rejected many times - so that proves my point!)
I guess the lesson in all of this for me was to continue to believe in my work, continue to "put it out there" and wait for the mysterious Lady Luck to find it. Until then, I will just keep on writing, learning, and perfecting the art. My sister and I were talking yesterday about enjoying the process and not thinking about the product. I think I heard a speaker say that writing was really about the art - not the commerce. I understand that a little better now.
Being rather new to this "writing for REAL" adventure - I continue to have my eyes opened regarding the "business end" of things. There is so much more involved to the craft then just writing the novel/short story/poem - whatever. Once you start sending off your work in hopes of finding an agent or publisher - you encounter the mysterious and undefinable realm of "luck".
One of the conference's sessions involved a panel of three literary agents. We were asked when we registered for the conference to send in the first page of our novels. An actor read the page - and then the agents critiqued it and let the audience know if they would be interested enough to continue to the second page of the book. There were 200 participants at the conference - they only had time to do the first 15 pages that were submitted. After listening to the agents brutal comments, I was so grateful that my page was not read!
This session was eye-opening to me. The three agents were not at all what I expected. One was a petite, well-dressed woman, who specialized in selling foreign rights to already published novels. She was the least opinionated one on the panel. Actually, she appeared confused about why she was there. She had nothing good to say about any of the work - but also, had nothing really BAD to say, either. The agent sitting in the middle looked as though someone had pulled her out of a bar at 5 in the morning, poured several cups of strong coffee down her throat, snatched the cigarette out of her mouth and plopped her onstage. She was crude and rude and her comments were unnecessarily sarcastic and cutting. (Possible the result of a horrendous hangover!) The third agent had obviously not had a good night's sleep in months, and was in dreadful need of a shampoo. She was also mostly negative, but she did, at least, attempt to find one small positive thing to say about each page, even if it was something as innocuous as nice margins.
Listening and observing these three women opened my eyes to what happens to that precious manuscript which we authors place carefully in the mail, complete with all our hopes and dreams. I realized that rejection letters do not mean that the work is not good or that we have no talent. More than likely, rejection letters come because the agent was too tired/drunk/in a bad mood/broke up with boyfriend/argued with mother/had car trouble - just prior to reading the manuscript at 1:30 a.m. after a full day at work. I really believe J.K.Rowling could have submitted the first page of Harry Potter - and these three women would have thrown it in the trash. (Actually - J.K.Rowling WAS rejected many times - so that proves my point!)
I guess the lesson in all of this for me was to continue to believe in my work, continue to "put it out there" and wait for the mysterious Lady Luck to find it. Until then, I will just keep on writing, learning, and perfecting the art. My sister and I were talking yesterday about enjoying the process and not thinking about the product. I think I heard a speaker say that writing was really about the art - not the commerce. I understand that a little better now.
Tuesday, October 04, 2005
ANGELS
Today was hair maintenance day. The best part about it was spending time with my sister. More and more I appreciate the wonderful relationship we have. We do not come from a particularly close family...actually, that is an understatement - and so the sweet friendship we enjoy is even more precious to both of us. We laugh at the same things (yes - I suppose we have the same twisted sense of humor!), we are interested in the same things - we are eager to learn NEW things - but the best part is that we genuinely CARE about one another. Not just the love that is "expected" - but that "I-really-want-to-hear-all-the-details-about-your-life" kind of caring.
So - while we are sitting in Mango's (our hair salon) getting our roots touched up - each looking like something from another planet (especially when we have all the foil thingies in our hair) - we lose ourselves in the joy of just talking and laughing - and the time seems to melt away.
My sister teaches me about the angels...and I believe everything she says about them, because I know she is one to me.
So - while we are sitting in Mango's (our hair salon) getting our roots touched up - each looking like something from another planet (especially when we have all the foil thingies in our hair) - we lose ourselves in the joy of just talking and laughing - and the time seems to melt away.
My sister teaches me about the angels...and I believe everything she says about them, because I know she is one to me.
Monday, October 03, 2005
THE BUTTERFLY EFFECT
Sometimes it is very clear to me that God...the universe...is trying to teach me something. It seems that everywhere I look, I encounter information on the same theme. That's the way it has been lately for me, in regards to the truth that we are all connected. I have a wonderful book, The Courage of Conviction, that I would recommend to all. It is not a new book...I believe it came out in 1985. It is a collection of essays written by famous people in which they discuss their beliefs and how they put them into action.
The one that "jumped out at me" today was written by Madeleine L'Engle - the author of A Wrinkle in Time, among other things. Just wanted to share a bit of what she had to say:
"I came across a phrase in an article on astrophysics that means a great deal to me: the butterfly effect. This means that if a butterfly should come into my study and sit on my shoulder as I write, this effect would be felt in galaxies thousands of light years away; everything in the universe is that closely connected.
The writing of fiction is about connections - connections between people who break the connections, fragment themselves and others, and (it is hoped) remake connections.
I look at what is happening in our planet, and I see the breaking of connections, nation setting itself against nation, race against race, religion against religion, but I still feel hope that at least on an individual basis connections can be remade, must be remade if we are to survive as a planet."
What a wise and hopeful observation!
The one that "jumped out at me" today was written by Madeleine L'Engle - the author of A Wrinkle in Time, among other things. Just wanted to share a bit of what she had to say:
"I came across a phrase in an article on astrophysics that means a great deal to me: the butterfly effect. This means that if a butterfly should come into my study and sit on my shoulder as I write, this effect would be felt in galaxies thousands of light years away; everything in the universe is that closely connected.
The writing of fiction is about connections - connections between people who break the connections, fragment themselves and others, and (it is hoped) remake connections.
I look at what is happening in our planet, and I see the breaking of connections, nation setting itself against nation, race against race, religion against religion, but I still feel hope that at least on an individual basis connections can be remade, must be remade if we are to survive as a planet."
What a wise and hopeful observation!
Sunday, October 02, 2005
THE GIFT
The other day at the eye doctor's office, I had the opportunity to observe the transforming power of a kind word. The waiting room was crowded, as usual. Most patients sat quietly staring off into space, since there was nothing else to do, but wait. The reading material scattered on the tables in that office is truly the poorest and most uninteresting collection of out-of-date magazines I have ever encountered. Perhaps the doctors think their patients can't see well enough to read - who knows. Anyway - I digress.
I didn't notice him at first. Perhaps no one did. But I heard him say, "You're lovely". Everyone seemed to be shocked by the sound breaking the silence, and all heads turned in the direction of the voice. A little old man sat alone, with his walker, smiling. He then waved at a women who was taking her seat with the rest of us. She was an ordinary-looking person. Nothing that would have indicated she was so breath-taking that a complete stranger would be compelled to speak such flattery in a crowded room. She smiled in his direction and, with a slight blush, began to leaf through the pages of an ancient Sports Illustrated. Within a few moments, we heard his voice again. "You're lovely." This time the recipient of his blessing was a dour-looking woman dressed in gray. Her clothes didn't fit well, and her shoes were scuffed and well-worn. I watched as her cheeks filled with color, and a soft smile began to shine, not only on her face, but in her eyes. Suddenly, she did look lovely. After this happened several more times, it was clear that this dear man was possibly suffering from Alzheimer's. While that may have been the case, it was also true that he was charming and captivating! It was remarkable how his sweet words, and child-like wave seemed to transform the ordinary into the extraordinary. I was also amazed at how unaccustomed these women seemed to be to praise. Some felt the need to dismiss it, with a muttered, "Well, I don't feel lovely!" or "I don't know about lovely - but I certainly am tired." They were embarassed by the attention. It was difficult for them to respond with grace. I think that says a lot about our world today. Everything is so impersonal. We don't take the time to say the nice things - and what a difference we could make, if we did.
When the nurse called my name, I moved to the door in anticipation. He didn't disappoint me. "You're lovely," he said. I turned and waved back, and said, "thank you." But, my gratitude was not simply for the compliment. I was grateful for the lesson he taught me about the power of words - and the gift of kindness - and that it is so easy to reach out to one another and have a positive impact, because we are all connected. We all have the same needs and wants and basic desires. And, we all need those touches of unexpected praise...those moments when we are singled out from the crowd, lifted from the blinding sameness of our days and made to feel special.
I didn't notice him at first. Perhaps no one did. But I heard him say, "You're lovely". Everyone seemed to be shocked by the sound breaking the silence, and all heads turned in the direction of the voice. A little old man sat alone, with his walker, smiling. He then waved at a women who was taking her seat with the rest of us. She was an ordinary-looking person. Nothing that would have indicated she was so breath-taking that a complete stranger would be compelled to speak such flattery in a crowded room. She smiled in his direction and, with a slight blush, began to leaf through the pages of an ancient Sports Illustrated. Within a few moments, we heard his voice again. "You're lovely." This time the recipient of his blessing was a dour-looking woman dressed in gray. Her clothes didn't fit well, and her shoes were scuffed and well-worn. I watched as her cheeks filled with color, and a soft smile began to shine, not only on her face, but in her eyes. Suddenly, she did look lovely. After this happened several more times, it was clear that this dear man was possibly suffering from Alzheimer's. While that may have been the case, it was also true that he was charming and captivating! It was remarkable how his sweet words, and child-like wave seemed to transform the ordinary into the extraordinary. I was also amazed at how unaccustomed these women seemed to be to praise. Some felt the need to dismiss it, with a muttered, "Well, I don't feel lovely!" or "I don't know about lovely - but I certainly am tired." They were embarassed by the attention. It was difficult for them to respond with grace. I think that says a lot about our world today. Everything is so impersonal. We don't take the time to say the nice things - and what a difference we could make, if we did.
When the nurse called my name, I moved to the door in anticipation. He didn't disappoint me. "You're lovely," he said. I turned and waved back, and said, "thank you." But, my gratitude was not simply for the compliment. I was grateful for the lesson he taught me about the power of words - and the gift of kindness - and that it is so easy to reach out to one another and have a positive impact, because we are all connected. We all have the same needs and wants and basic desires. And, we all need those touches of unexpected praise...those moments when we are singled out from the crowd, lifted from the blinding sameness of our days and made to feel special.
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